Commercials

Future scientists will spend long hours trying to figure out why we squeezed toilet paper, or wore watches underwater, or shot pens at targets to prove they could still write afterward. Scientists will wonder why a product that was perfect in February was new and improved six months later!

There's a car company here in Denver that gives you seven thousand dollars in cash if you buy one of their cars. I went in and told them, "Give me twenty-eight thousand and keep the car." They didn't appreciate my humor.

There is a new product which contains no sugar, no preservatives, no additives, and chemicals. For a $3.99 you get an empty box!

The truth is, I think this will be the first generation defined by it's commercials. I remember the days when they advertised smoking on TV. The coolest smoke was menthol! Now this generation will look something like this...