Asparagus

When Tyler and Noelle were growing up we struggled with, well, teaching table manners and proper etiquette. We found a book which was some help and a good version of proper table manners. The other day I was going through some boxes in the basement looking for an old article I had written years ago and I ran across Tiffany's Table Manners for Teenagers. The book quickly became a family joke and a source of pain and great laughter in our household.

Turning to the page on Asparagus I found the following quote. "Asparagus is eaten with the fingers, unless stalks are too long. If the asparagus is long and thin, cut off the ends with your fork held in your right hand and eat with your fork. You will then avoid imitating a trained seal. Then pick the shortened stalks up in your fingers."

It's one thing to teach a teenager how to eat Asparagus. It's an entirely different thing to get them to choke it down with fingers or a fork.