My Birthday

Yes, today is the day. Many years ago today, I was born and now I want a transplant. But the hospital said they no longer make the parts! You know you're getting older when it takes you more time to recover than it did to tire you out. And now, Nancy and I are both having an age problem. I won't act mine and she won't tell hers.

Mr. Thompson, an old family friend hit seventy and decided he wanted to live a long time. He started to diet and exercise, and gave up smoking. He lost his gut, his body firmed up, and, to make the picture complete, he bought a toupee to cover his bald scalp. Then he walked out in the street and was hit by the first car that came along. As he lay dying, he called up, "God, how could you do this to me?" God answered, "To tell you the truth, I didn't recognize you."

It's not so bad actually. I'm at that age where everything is starting to click - my knees, my elbows, my neck....