Texting

I found a great way to irritate people while texting, just write "Page Two."  Also, did you know they now have a special Dial-a-Prayer number an atheist can text? You text it and nobody answers!

I love the sign below, probably put up by the government!

Deafness

I am at the age where people have to start repeating things. My answering machine starts each message with "What was that?" One of these days I may get a hearing-aid dog!

I found a web site that will do a hearing test on line! It's a great test and easy to pass, if you know where the volume nob is located on your computer. Actually, it's a great little test and does in fact work.

Photography

I was talking with a friend the other day who has become a professional photographer.  He's really good and started taking great photos. I told him about my photo below and explained my thoughts about luck. "Many photos are just plain good luck, like the one below." I told him, and he agreed, especially in my case. We laughed and I marveled at his new photo laminating techniques. You can see his web site at here.

The Wild of God

My friend Eric Hanson has finally published his book. It's about his one year tour of the globe on a very amazing mission trip. The book is called, The Wild of God. I recommend you buy it today!

Eric, his father and I and some other friends hiked the Inca Trail together, last year. Eric was working on the book then. You don't want to miss out on the truth.

Snow

You know it's winter when you see a Dalmatian with thermal spots!

Last night I was driving home and it took me an hour and 15 min to go 12 miles. Negotiating the traffic was terrible! 6 inches of snow had fallen and the winds were howling in the streets. I saw my neighbor Mr. Klein coming out of the bakery. He had asked for three Danishes.The baker asked him, "Did your wife send you for them?" Mr. Klein said, "Would a mother send her son out on a night like this?"

I do like the snow, it fills the potholes. You know, everyone is concerned about illegal aliens coming up from Mexico, and boy we sure could use a fence and all that, but the real problem is up North. We get an awful lot of cold waves from Canada. Can't we weatherstrip the border?

Exercise

I can't believe it happened. The other day I jogged backward and put on eight pounds. As a result I decided not to go jogging anymore, in fact I don't believe in it. When I die, I want it to be from an illness!

I read somewhere that you get seven benefits from exercise. They say exercise:

1. controls weight
2. combats disease
3. improves mood
4. boosts energy
5. promotes better sleep
6. improves your sex life, and
7. it's fun.

Okay, lets talk about number 2, they say exercise kills germs. But how do you get the little buggers to exercise? What about number 5? Every time I exercise with Nancy, I'm up at 5:15a! Does that sound like sleep promotion? Also, I'm struggling with number seven above. Does the machine below really look like something that will actually bring you fun?

Commercials

Future scientists will spend long hours trying to figure out why we squeezed toilet paper, or wore watches underwater, or shot pens at targets to prove they could still write afterward. Scientists will wonder why a product that was perfect in February was new and improved six months later!

There's a car company here in Denver that gives you seven thousand dollars in cash if you buy one of their cars. I went in and told them, "Give me twenty-eight thousand and keep the car." They didn't appreciate my humor.

There is a new product which contains no sugar, no preservatives, no additives, and chemicals. For a $3.99 you get an empty box!

The truth is, I think this will be the first generation defined by it's commercials. I remember the days when they advertised smoking on TV. The coolest smoke was menthol! Now this generation will look something like this...

Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing

Come, thou fount of every blessing,

tune my heart to sing thy grace;

streams of mercy, never ceasing

call for songs of loudest praise.

Teach me some melodious sonnet,

sung by flaming tongues above.

Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it,

mount of thy redeeming love.

Here I raise my Ebenezer;

hither by thy help I'm come;

and I hope, by thy good pleasure,

safely to arrive at home.

Jesus sought me when a stanger,

wandering from the fold of God;

he, to rescue me from danger,

interposed his precious blood.

O to grace how great a debtor

daily I'm constrained to be!

Let thy goodness, like a fetter,

bind my wandering heart to thee.

Prone to wander, Lord I feel it.

prone to leave the God I love;

here's my heart, O take and seal it,

seal it for thy courts above.

Debt

I'm hoping that when taxpayers realize they're missing an arm, they will rise up and vote for the future. A future of REAL hope should be no debt and freedom. Freedom from government control and irresponsibility!

Cannibals

My son-in-law recommended a book called Black Mischief by Evelyn Waugh. It's about a guy who's girl friend is missing. He looks all over the place for her and winds up on a island inhabited by cannibals. They feed him dinner and he notices a lock of her hair by the pot he's just eaten from. He realizes his mistake and well...

I would like to say that the king sat back and said, "I like those relaxed moments when the meal is over and every body's eaten!" But that isn't what happened. You'll have to read the book to find out. If it had been me, I'd have said, "My girl friend makes great soup. But I'll miss her."

MORAL OF THE STORY: Most people don't like drunks, but it takes a cannibal to like somebody stewed.

My thoughts on cars

The only thing that works on my car is the antenna, and even the bugs get a free ride on that! Well not really, I just thought this photo was unusual. What this dragonfly found so interesting up there I will never know.

What I find interesting these days is car design. Car manufacturers spend years designing cars with smooth, sleek lines. Then they sell you a ski rack so you can put two tons of junk on top. Some of those new mini cars have a special heater. It's called the cigarette lighter! And those mini cars can stop on a dime. They can't go over it, but they can stop on it. What the world really needs is a windshield wiper that won't hold parking tickets!

And, why do auto mechanics carry rags when they have perfectly good seatcovers to wipe their hands on?

ADVICE: Don't drive as if you own the road, drive as if you own the car!

How I spent my Saturday

About a month ago Nancy ordered one of those big storage shelves you assemble and hang from the top of your garage. Don't you love Costco? The 90 lb boxes arrived a few days ago. Seeing the boxes, comparing them to a giant erector set, and looking at the 19 page instruction manual, I explained to her that I'm just a model husband, but not a working model. That bought me a few days. It was snowing outside today, so I thought, "okay this would be the day." 

I started measuring at 11:00a and finished at about 3:34p. Nancy was there to help every step of the way. She didn't go in the house to do her nails or anything, she wrecked them with me! What a gal!!! She handed me the drill, screwdriver, bolts, etc. whenever I needed them and then we put everything away. Not bad eh!

Shopping for jeans

I went shopping for jeans the other day. Will somebody, someday please explain to me why I pay extra so that some designer can advertise his jeans on my rear end? One designer had such bad handwriting they'd only sell his jeans in drugstores! Another designer was kind of timid because it looked like he signed his in pencil. Some of the jeans in this place looked like they needed to be cleaned! That's right cleaned, so I asked for a discount because they were dirty! All I got was a dirty look. I finally tried on a pair, presumably my size but they were so tight, when I crossed my legs they almost had to take me to surgery!

The good news is, these pair were the only one's NOT on sale! I asked her why and she said they were in high demand. "Perhaps," I said, "it reflects more on our current social problems than anything else."

Arizona State Motto

The Arizona State Motto is Ditat Deus, which is translated as, God enriches, in Latin. It is written on the Arizona State Seal and has been there since 1863 when Abraham Lincoln set up the territory of Arizona. I wonder if the atheists can read Latin? You would think they'd be claiming it offends them.

Arizona trivia

Notice this state highway sign from Arizona. It is an original sign and marked with an arrowhead at the bottom bearing the native American swastica. Arizona replaced the signs when Adolf used the image for himself. My understanding is that they couldn't get them all removed until the 1950's.

For your enjoyment

This is my Father's world,

and to my listening ears

all nature sings, and round me rings

the music of the spheres.

This is my Father's world:

I rest me in the thought

of rocks and trees, of skies and seas;

his hand the wonders wrought.

This is my Father's world,

the birds their carols raise,

the morning light, the lily white,

declare their maker's praise.

This is my Father's world:

he shines in all that's fair;

in the rustling grass I hear him pass;

he speaks to me everywhere.

This is my Father's world.

O let me ne'er forget

that though the wrong seems oft so strong,

God is the ruler yet.

This is my Father's world:

why should my heart be sad?

the Lord is King; let the heavens ring!

God reigns; let the earth be glad!

Count your blessings, count them one by one

Our little group hiked Dawson's Butte Trail yesterday. It's between Monument and Castle Rock, South of the Denver area. It turned out to be a beautiful day with 50+ degree temperatures, unless you were in the shade and then you had to balance a little on the ice. No one broke an ankle, no one slipped on the ice, we enjoyed good conversation with each other and we all got some great exercise.

The trail is about a 5 mile loop and brings you up on a ridge allowing you to see some big beautiful homes sprawling around the foothills. The home pictured below left me wondering... if I lost my car keys how would  I ever find them!  And, if I needed to refill my cup of coffee, I might have to walk 50 yards, one way!

After the hike, we all drove back to Littleton, went to Panera Bread for lunch and counted our blessings.

Worrying on Groundhog day

An early Spring is on the way, according to this woodchuck named Punxsutawney Phil. However, these predictions were common when the weather was "predictable." Now that we have global warning... I'm not so sure. So the government wants us to worry. If we worry, then we'll count on them to fix everything and they'll get re-elected.

HEY, wait a minute, the United Nations research is now indicating that solar activity may have much more to do with global climate change than fossil fuels! Maybe Punxsatawney Phil was right all along, seeing his shadow or not has everything to do with solar activity! So, don't worry about global warming anymore. Remember this: worry is the interest you pay on trouble before it's due!

Taken from Blue Like Jazz, by Donald Miller

First, Miller quotes G.K. Chesterton who says "chess players go crazy, not poets." Miller goes on to say, "I think he is right. You'd go crazy trying to explain penguins. It's best just to watch them and be entertained. I don't think you can explain how Christian faith works either. It is a mystery. And I love this about Christian spirituality. It cannot be explained, and yet it is beautiful and true. It is something you feel, and it comes from the soul."

And yes, I can explain the photo below, how it refracts the light as it streams through the sky like a prism, but can you explain beauty? What about art? What about love?

I like what SK writes, "It is simple and beautiful and moving that the lover gazes, enamored, at his beloved, but it is fashionable and superior to peer at her through a monocle. The natural scientist uses the microscope the way fop uses a monocle - only the microscope is turned toward God."