My first REAL Christmas

This is my first real Christmas! Last year, I was just a baby and you gave me all those technical manuals to read, except you read them to me. Now I can read them myself! In addition, I can tear the pages out by myself, so you don't need to repossess the manuals during the ripping process. Also, you've given things to my brother and sister but they are really mine. Tell them they belong to me! If you don't, then as soon as they open them, I'm going to run over and try to grab them away and play with them myself. If that doesn't work, I'll cry. That's because they really belong to me, unless it's something you slide onto your feet or that white stuff you call underwear. Not interested in that.

Also, I'm getting weary of these presents with string tied all around them. They are so hard to open. I guess I understand the government childproofing my pill bottles, but the presents? Why? I need some explanation here.